MyOwnLittleWorld

That awkward moment when the person you want to be with only sees you as a friend, making you feel completely and totally unwanted cause it’s happened 78283748599 times before him…

Sometimes, I wonder who would even miss me if I was gone.

So many things are changing and I don’t know what to do. Two years and I get nothing. Two weeks and he’s wrapped around her finger. You’d figure a “best friend” wouldn’t do that to you, but I guess I was wrong. I hate how she always talks about our friend always ditching us for her boyfriend, and yet she ditches me for hers?
He’s changed too and I hate it. He’s probably one of the biggest jerks I know now. If I get on his nerves then why the heck can he not just tell me that instead of going behind my back about it? All he cares about is her.
Good freaking luck with your relationship, pretty soon the only friends y’all will have is each other if you treat all your friends like you treat me.
I finally find a guy. One I like who I think genuinely likes me. Not going to leave me for another girl, not going to use me for sex, one who just cares and wants to be with me. But of course something has to mess that up. One and a half months. Thats all I have til he moves hours away and I only get to see him once a month, if I’m lucky. We’re not even dating and I already know this is gonna be hard. He’s already sort of acting like he doesn’t want me anymore. Why? Why does this happen?
It’s not like I like fighting with my family. We just don’t get along. Me and mom both have attitudes when we get mad, me and dad are both stubborn, and fights just happen. IM NOT A BABY ANYMORE! I can take care of myself I don’t need them to baby me. Why can’t they understand that? No wonder I’m so ready to get out.
I don’t know how much longer I have with my grandpa. He’s dying, we all know he is. He’s an amazing, strong, hard-working man with nothing but love for his only two grandchildren, and I’m losing him. I need him. I’m going to miss him so much.
I look at pictures of girls, the ones that are pretty with a nice body and gorgeous smile. I think to myself, “why can’t I look like that? Why can’t I have her body? Why do I have to struggle to look like that?”. I’m too loud, too fat, too annoying, too obnoxious, too ugly. It’s always been that I’m either “too” something, or “not enough” something.
I’m drifting away from the friends I need the most. I’m drifting away from God. I need them in my life, I need to get back on track. I need to understand that the way to live is through Him. He loved us so I need to love Him with everything I have and allow Him to shine in my life. My sins are washed. 2012 is a new year…my year. I’m on my own and I hope I can do this. Lead me through it Lord, I walk with You. Show me Your truth, Your way. That’s the way I want to live.